ARSENAL'S SERIOUS PRE-MATCH TEAM PHOTO AND PARTIZAN BELGRADE.

Serious Cats are not impressed with our performances in Europe this season.

Even though our last group stage game in the Champions League didn't provide us with a performance to be proud of, it DID provide us with this weird as all fuck, pre-match team photo.

Absolutely everyone in the back row look like they want to murder you. Except Chamakh - he looks like he's about to date rape you.

Now, the front row - Sagna looks lost, Denilson and Gibbs look like escapees from a Chilean prison and Nasri and Arshavin could pass for models from the kids' section of a new Sears catalog.

I can't decide whether this picture is awesomely creepy or creepily awesome. Discuss

As for the Partizan match itself, I don't think it warrants any type of discussion since it was as mediocre as it gets but I'll discuss it anyway. I'm mysterious like that.

Anyway, the first half was rather dull, we took the lead via a Van Persie penalty, about 15 minutes before the interval and...Sir?...Sir?...Sir...yes, you...move along please, nothing to see here.

As the second half was about to start I thought to myself - Ok, although we've been pretty dreadful, so far, I'm sure we'll win this one comfortably. It's not like Partizan are causing any trouble. Hopefully Shakhtar will lose their game and...whoops. Surprise butt seks! Parizan score. It's 1-1.

Fuck topping the group, we should have worried about this stuff when we were losing to Braga. I just want to qualify. Cannot let Spurs advance further than us. COME ON SHAKHTAR!

My plea was followed by a very nervy half an hour, where I honestly couldn't tell which way it's gonna go. None of the players on the pitch looked like they could inspire the breakthrough. Thankfully, it's not 1952 and teams are allowed to make substitutions. The ineffective Arshavin was replaced by Theo Walcott, who in turn, replaced my anxiety with jubilation by scoring the match winning goal. 

There was another one, with about ten minutes to go from Nasri involving his trademark footwork, described by some on Saturday as "poetry in motion" but Theo's goal was definitely the one that sealed the deal.

Also, Sagna got sent off with about 5 minutes to go. It was a straight red which means he will miss the first leg of the last 16. I didn't think it was a red card but most people seem to disagree. Hopefully, his absence won't have that much of an impact, although the thought of Eboue as a cover for Messi or Ronaldo isn't a very healthy one.

Seriously though, I was terrified of us not making it to the knock-out stages. Mostly, because it would've relegated us to Europa League. And I just couldn't bear the thought of watching Arsenal play on Thursdays.

THURSDAYS?  NO, THANK YOU.

That's the kind of perverted shit which I refuse to be a part of.