How do ye, mah fellow gooner friends?
How about that Man City, eh? Isn't it amazing how a team that spent one billion pounds on players and staff, have managed to win the league? We're lucky to be alive to witness an event so incredible, it would make those who aren't alive, roll over in their graves from envy.
Oh. My. God. You guys. It's just like a Hollywood script, isn't it? NO. NO IT IS NOT! Hollywood scripts are about underdogs, shunned by society, who overcome all obstacles to save the rec center. Not about underdogs who marry sugar daddys, who will buy them the rec center for one billion pounds.
Arsenal's future captain and my personal hero Emmanuel Y Frimpong pretty much summed it all up with this gem:
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| Das propah DENCH, mate! |
Ok, now that's out of the way, we can talk about Arsenal.
I have to be honest and say that back in February, I was one hundred percent convinced St. Totteringham's day wouldn't come this season, such was the gap between us and Spurs. In terms of points and quality of squads, at the time. I thought it would be a gritty, unnerving scrap for fourth place, between us and Chelsea but as Sir. Purple Nose once so eloquently put it: Football...bloody hell.
So, after yesterday's win against West Brom and participation in the Champions League next season ensured (for the 15th time in a row), the St. Totteringham's day was a finger licking icing on a cake. Having said that, there's no way in hell I'm rooting for Chelsea in CL final on Saturday. I'd rather see Tottenham win it than Chelsea. Seriously, with Man City as the PL champions, Chelsea winning the Champions League, would make me lose whatever little faith in God I have left. Wars and world poverty haven't done it yet, but Chelsea being crowned as the best team in Europe will. There's only so much suffering one person can take.
You may have noticed, I haven't yet mentioned any details regarding the West Brom game, well that's due to the fact that I didn't see it. You see, my life is so wonderful, that working on Sunday is something that I do to satisfy my emotional needs. *puts gun to temple*. I did however, have access to multiple live blogs, which is just as enjoyable as watching a match live.*pulls trigger, forgot to load it*
Here's a little breakdown:
1. Yossi Benoyoun: If yesterday's game, was in fact, his last in an Arsenal shirt, then there's no better way to say goodbye than by scoring the opening goal in a match we have to win to secure our financial future. If he was a few years younger, I'd keep him for another season or two but he's in his early 30's and that's 85 in Arsene's years.
2. Our defense: At fault for West Brom's second and shaky all throughout. If it wasn't for the awesome Márton Fülöp , it would've been Norwich all over again.
3. Andre Santos: His equaliser at the 30' minute mark made it a lot easier for me to breath and also, he is now my favorite gay gooner ever (with apologies to Matt Lucas).
4. The referee: I generally find it hard to criticise people who share a birthday with me, but Mike Jones was a bit more cunty than usual yesterday. First, the atrocious decision to let West Brom's equaliser stand, even though Shane Long was miles offside, then the inexplicable five minutes of injury time.
It's fair to point out that the standards of refereeing this season have fallen below even their usual woeful self. Which brings me to the point I've been trying to make since the start of this blog. The only reason that referees keep making these mistakes is because they don't have to, at least publicly, answer for them. I've been saying it to anyone who'd listen (no one ever does) for years, that as long as referees, don't have to publicly explain their decisions, sometimes so costly and unexplainable they make you want to smash everything like you're fucking Hulk from the Avengers, as long as the FA doesn't pull its head out of its own asshole and start suspending the referees who keep fucking up (I realise that's almost all of them), then they will never get anywhere with their, cringe-worthy at this point, Respect campaigns. AAARRRGGHHHH!
5. Pat Rice: Yesterday's game should be dedicated to Pat Rice. I dedicate this post to Pat Rice. Robin van Persie should give his golden boot to Pat Rice and then sign a new contract since that's what Pat Rice would've wanted. Because, at this point, he's a part of everything this club represents and also, because he was the one, that forced Koscielny to score the winner at the start of the second half, using the power of his mind and nothing else. Everything's been said already, so I only want to say... thank you!
And this is neither here nor there but remember the song from Southpark that Cartman sang in one of the episodes called "The body of Christ"? Well, yesterday throughout the entire day, it was stuck in my head except, instead of "Christ" it was "Pat Rice":
The body of Pat Rice
Oh, what a body, all muscled up and toned
The body of Pat Rice
Oh, what a body, I wish I could call it my own
Lord Almighty, I've never been so enticed
Oh, I wish I could have the body of Pat Rice.
Yes! Someone should record it immediately as a tribute. This is my best idea yet.
