14 Year Old Jack Wilshere Is Here To Make You Forget Stoke City Exits.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Remember, when a few years ago we used to call Bolton our "boogey team"? Because we always used to struggle to get results at the Reebok, and we would have half our squad out with injuries for weeks, after every single encounter with them, and they had a live Walrus for a manager and their fans were kind of a bunch of inbred cunts. But then they'd almost been relegated before their manager returned to his natural habitat and everyone just shrugged their shoulders and went: "meh". Do you remember?

Well, right now, I feel like our "boogey team" is Stoke City, except they're actually even...er, "boogier". Their fans are a bit more inbred, their manager's face is a bit more punchable and their players are a bit more psychotic (seriously, take a look at Ryan Shawcross and tell me he's not the perfect lead for a movie based on Anders Beivik's biography?).

Since Stoke's promotion back in 2008, we've only managed to win at their place once, and that was the day Aaron Ramsey almost had his career ruined forever. What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that our result today, wasn't as bad as it seems at first. Yes, not beating them is annoying. Yes, conceding a header from Peter Crouch, when we've been, non stop for the past week, going over the fact that dealing with their aerial bombardment is the only way to stop them from scoring, is annoying. Yes, the realization that that result has brought smiles to the faces of their fans is extremely irritating. But that's OK.

For one thing, we didn't lose, thank's to that sweet Robin van Persie equaliser and we still have two more games left play, to help us finish the season on a (relatively) high note.

"Hey, but what about Stoke City?" you may ask."Can they just boo Aaron Ramsey and get away with it?" you may ask. Well, don't you worry, my imaginary gooner friend. One day, the wind will blow that cap off Tony Pubis' head, Rory Delap's towel will escape, after realising that it can no longer go on living its life as a towel of Rory Delap and it will spend the rest of its days trying to suppress the memories of its past by getting high somewhere in Colorado, Ryan Shacross will be imprisoned for crimes against humanity and The City of Stoke will suffer the same fate as the Wanderers of Bolton.

The End.

P.S, I don't want to fug up the page with pictures of Britannia, so here's a picture of Jack Wilshere as a 14 year old to cheer you all up:

*original is via