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| Clowns have always been Robin van Persie's biggest fear, along with Lee Mason - who apparently is cheating on his lover Phil Dowd. |
I loathe Barcelona. I really, really do. They've inflicted so much pain on me, over the years. I just don't know how much longer I can take before I'll go all Jared Loughner on their asses.
I loathe the sight of that giant stadium. 99,354 seats, eh? Well, good luck filling them when your banker friends won't be around to bail you out of your mounting debts.
I loathe their cunty, hypocritical fans. All 99,354 jeering in unison whenever an Arsenal player was down on the pitch. Oh, how sweet, they're standing up for gamesmanship, and that, despite the fact most Barcelona players go down quicker than pornstars at Charlie Sheen's house, anytime something is near them.
Which segues nicely to my next point - I fucking loathe their players. World class? Yeah. World class diving cheats? FUCK YEAH! When you're that talented, do you really have to resort to such pathetic techniques? You don't have to answer that question - it's rhetorical.
I loathe that gaylord - Josep Guardiola i Sala. "Ooh, ooh there are players better than Jack Wilshere at my daughter's nursery". Well, maybe you should have played them. Then you wouldn't have required the "assistance" of the referee to help your €752 million squad progress.
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| Don't worry Robin, Aslan's gonna take care of Pep and that mean Swiss bitch, after the game. |
I loathe all their owners, chairmen, presidents or whatever the fuck they're called over there. Acting holier than thou while blatantly tapping up players from other teams. Since the beginning of Wenger's reign as our manager, not a single summer has passed without them trying to unsettle our players.
Proclaiming to be some sort of footballing "business model". Barcelona is the world's second richest football club in terms of revenue, with an annual turn-over of €398 million, YET they're currently in a €442 million debt. How the fuck can that be considered a model of...anything?
I loathe all the commentators who whip out their baby penises on live TV and masturbate furiously to replays of another overrated Messi trick.
I loathe Massimo Busacca from Monte Carasso, Ticino, near Bellinzona (FYI). What an incompetent piece of shit, huh? Booking van Persie for not hearing the offside whistle in a stadium filled with 99,354 goddamn people. But you can't blame him, between the whistle and Robin's shot there was an interval of one second. OMFG! ONE WHOLE SECOND.
Someone should grab that Swiss fucker by the neck like this and stuff used batteries down his throat.
I loathe all referees in general, actually. As long as they don't have to publicly explain their unexplainable decisions or face any kind of consequence for their mistakes, sometimes so terrible and costly they simply leave you speechless, they're not going to get far with their laughable "Respect campaigns".
I loathe FIFA/UEFA. If someone told me Massimo Busacca was under orders during yesterday's match, that wouldn't surprise me in the slightest. Maybe I'm starting to feel a bit paranoid, what's with all horrible fuck-ups the officials have been making against us recently, but I'm not underestimating UEFA's greed. And few would deny that Barcelona is much more profitable and lucrative for the Champions League than Arsenal.
They don't want technology because it would ruin the traditional game. Right. I am convinced that's the reason and NOT because you can't bribe replays.
But you know what I loathe the most? People who say that the better team won.
"Uh...Barca had 175% of possession and uh...they have Messi, they deserved to win...durr"
DIE. DIE. IN A LAKE OF FIRE!!! ARRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
They didn't deserve anything! Before the Robin van Persie sending off, the score was:
Barcelona 1 - 1 Arsenal.
Yes, Barca had plenty of possession but until the red card they had nothing to show for it. Their first goal was a result of a terrible mistake from Cesc (cue the conspiracy theories) and most of their clear cut chances came after we were left with 10 men. (Inter got away with it last season and the heavens proclaimed Jose Mourinho as a tactical genius. But when almost the same thing happens to us, somehow we didn't deserve it. HA!)
10 v 12 - for almost an entire half. It was never going to happen for us. Xavi scored Barcelona's second and Messi (apparently an object more arousing to men than Jessica Alba and Megan Fox combined) scored their third - which was a penalty.
FULL TIME: BARCELONA 3 - 1 ARSENAL (4-3 agg.)
A red card AND a penalty - for the so called best team in the world to make it past a pack of Jack Wilsheres that wouldn't make Barca's reserves, according to their manager. That my friends is some food for thought.
But today is not the day for mourning. Today is the day for loathing.
And today...I loathe.
OOH-WAH-AH-AH...
(*the original pics are via daylife and jumping Pep is via)
