CARLING CUP FINAL: AT THE GRASP OF OUR FINGERTIPS BUT WE LET IT SLIP...AGAIN.

Ice-Cream Cat is going to let Jack have as much ice-cream as he wishes because he deserves better in life than to lose his first Cup final to Lee Bower.

At the final whistle, of our yesterday's Carling Cup final defeat to Birmingham, there were two things on my mind:

One - I want to hug the crap out of Jack Wilshere,

and

Two - Will I ever see this Arsenal team win a trophy?

I never thought I would ever feel this upset about a Carling Cup game but here I am, feeling only slightly less depressed than five years ago after losing to Barca in Paris.

Especially since Birmingham's win wasn't a result of some refereeing cock up or cheating or anything similar. No, it was a result of determination and hard work. They wanted it more and it was pretty evident, when with about twenty minutes to go, Roger Johnson was limping after injuring himself but refused to come off.

And while saying they deserved it wouldn't be completely true, at least according to statistics, it's impossible to deny the fact, they've won it fair and square. What their game plan lacked in creativity it made up in efficiency.

Our team, on the other hand, seemed if not disinterested then definitely uninspired, at times. There were very few Arsenal players on that lime green Wembley pitch who looked like they were up to the task.

It's funny how Arsene always talks about the depth of our current squad yet the minute you take one "starting XI" player out of the team, we appear lost. And yes, I know it's not just any player, it's Fabregas but seriously, how thin does his absence make our squad look? It's when he's not playing that it becomes so evident - how truly integral he is to our team. And it's not even his passing or his creativity, it's the way he manages to keep our team together, make them "click", if you will.

Playing Rosicky in Cesc's position was never going to lead to anything positive. I said it in one of my previous posts, Tomas brings about as much to our team as a mutant crossbreed between *insert the names of two players who aren't very good*. As much as I dislike Diaby, I honestly believe he would've done a better job.

Our defense wasn't half as solid as they'd been in previous games. There was a lot of pre-match talk about Nikola Žigić and how dangerous he is and how we should pay more attention to him. So naturally, it was him who headed in the opener, after we failed to properly clear Birmingham's corner.

We managed to pick ourselves up with five minutes to go before half-time. Jack Wilshere's shot went off the crossbar, Arshavin picked it up, his cross found Van Persie in the center of the penalty box and he volleyed home the equalizer but not before taking a heavy knock to his knee.

At that point, I'm hoping it'll be a different story in the second half. And it was, to an extent. We started off brightly, Ben Foster was forced to make some decent saves but when Robin couldn't shake off his injury, he had to be replaced by Bendtner. Unfortunately, replacing creativity with confidence doesn't always work.

Several minutes later, Chamakh replaced Arshavin - who despite having a relatively poor game wasn't as ineffective as Rosicky.

We're into the final 15 minutes of the match, Birmingham has a limping central defender and we have some fresh blood in attack. Can we pull if off or will we bottle it once again? Oh god, even if you didn't know the final score, this question would have sound rhetorical.

With about a minute of normal time left to play, a defensive mix-up/monstrous fuck up between Wojciech Szczesny and Laurent Koscielny, led to Obafemi Martins scoring the simplest of tap-ins he'll ever score - to win Birmingham's first major trophy since 1963.

It also guarantees them a place in the Europa League and there's nothing to say other than - "Congratulations". They did seem like they wanted it more, didn't they?

What a comically ridiculous was to lose a cup final, eh?

Is there a point in talking about what a win would've done for our confidence and our pursuit of the Premier League? About how it would've, at least for awhile, shut all the critics who gloat with glee over our trophy-less misfortunes up? About how it could affect the rest of our season? About how there is now a real possibility we might be out of all cup competitions by the end of next week?

No, no there is no point.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I had a sneaky feeling it wasn't going to be our day at the very start of the game, when Wojciech Szczesny fouled Lee Bower in the box but linesman wrongly flagged for offside. Had the flag stayed down it would've been a very different story and our defeat would've been much easier to accept.

Before I'm done, I want to say a word about Jack Wilshere - the only player who tried to make things happen for us, yesterday. The only Arsenal player who showed as much desire to win it as Birmingham did. It was his drive from the midfield which led to our only goal.

For a 19 year old to get to the Cup final at Wembley, to feel his first trophy, as a professional, at the grasp of the fingertips and have it taken away - must feel pretty awful.

Seeing him cry at the end was heartbreaking, mostly because it was like watching a fellow fan cry. I just wanted to pinch his cheeks and buy him an ice-cream. You could tell it wasn't some ego-trip, à la John Terry in the Champions League. You could tell it was sincere. Aww :(

Therefore, I believe we can all agree on one thing - Alex McLeish makes babies cry!

The end.

(*btw, the original top pic is via)

ARSENAL 2 - 0 WOLVES: ROBIN VAN PERSIE BREAKS RECORDS AND MICK MCCARTHY IS CLASSY.

Robin van Persie, Michael McCarthy. The former breaks records. The latter's just classy.

Last time we played Wolves (which was in November, by the way) we finished the match with the exact same scoreline as today - this would have to be the only similarity between the two games.

The former, was a rather nervy affair. Marouane Chamakh scored in the first and the last minutes of the match to secure the points. However, the hero of the day, turned out to be the one and only Lukas Fabianski - after making a string of crucial saves. I think, after that game, everyone became a bit more at ease with having him as our number one.

I have to say, before he got injured, I was secretly hoping he would emulate his performance in today's game as well. Just so I could use "BAMBI FENDS OFF WOLVES" as my main headline. Since I missed out on that opportunity the last time. Oh well...

Anyway, it was a completely different story this time around.

For one thing, it wasn't Chamakh who was leading our attack, it was Robin van Persie - top scorer in the Premier League in 2011.  He scored both of our goals and could have easily had another hat-trick. He now has ELEVEN Premier League goals and according to Infostrada - he's broken a record for most goals scored in first two months of a calendar year.

Had he been fit from August through November, one would assume we'd be a lot closer to the top of the table than we are at the moment. He's always been world-class but I guess we're finally starting to see and benefit from it. For how long? I don't know. Every time we're starting to believe his problems are behind him - the rug is pulled from under our feet by another injury.

Then there's Jack Wishere, who very obviously is high on confidence after his midweek England debut. Some of the passes, which he managed to pick out, were absolutely brilliant.

The kind of passes we are used to seeing from Cesc - who had a quiet game overall (by his standards) and was extremely wasteful in front of goal, it has to be mentioned.

Which segues nicely to my next point: HOW MANY FUCKING CHANCES DO WE NEED TO SCORE A GOAL? AARRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!11!!1

It is so unbelievably frustrating to watch, how we squander chance after chance. There were periods in that match, when I thought we'd never score another goal...ever again. When Van Persie was through on goal for his second, I honestly expected it to either go wide or hit the post.

Theo in particular, has been making some questionable decisions in front of goal, lately. His second half miss (of the match) was especially irritating. Is Thierry Henry still training with us? Maybe he needs to show Walcott some of his DVD's (with Henry on it I mean, not some random stuff like "Aladdin" - which i assume Theo would enjoy). I take nothing away from his assist, though.

In defence, I thought we looked comfortable and dealt with most of the set-pieces - which ironically account for 90% of the goals conceded for Arsenal and goals scored for Wolves (these stats are unconfirmed).

There wasn't a hint of any kind of hangover from last Saturday's nightmarish second half and I did not expect one, to be honest. We played that second half with ten men against Newcastle's TWELVE (get it? it's a Phil Dowd diss) and no Johan Djourou.

A couple of years ago no one would've predicted just how instrumental and important of a role Djourou would play for us. These statistics from OptaJean pretty much sum up that second half against Newcastle:

Djourou/Koscielny: 1 goal conceded every 295 mins (2 goals in 590 mins), 

Squillaci/Koscielny: 1 every 47 mins (20 in 949).

HOLY SHIT!

 Afterward Wolves' boss Mick McCarthy said this:

"There was a murder going on. They have murdered us today - all over the park, from 1 to 11, they were better than us, stronger than us and quicker than us. I have to admire their class and the way they play. We were spanked."

Oh, whatever you...wait, what? The manager of the losing team admits they were outplayed? WHY?

He could've complained about how our second goal should've been ruled out for offside or how they were denied a "stonewall" penalty. His team is rock bottom and he doesn't even try to divert attention and simply admits their shortcomings?

What is the world coming to?

*cough* David Moyes *cough*

NEWCASTLE 4 - 4 ARSENAL: PHIL DOWD AND LEE MASON ARE SITTING IN A TREE - F.U.C.K.I.N.G.

"Me and Lee Mason care very deeply about each other so beat it, Hobbit boy."

It seems like only a couple of days ago I was writing a post about the Everton game and the incompetence of Lee Mason and his minions. I had never written a post about an Arsenal match - so heavily focused on referees before and I genuinely thought I wouldn't be dragged into doing that again.

I've seen a lot of costly fuck ups made by the officials throughout the years and I would have thought I'm used to them by now. But every once in awhile, you see a refereeing performance so pathetic in its inadequacy, you're obliged to react - like yesterday, against Newcastle.

Idiotic, risky and dangerous challenges by Joey Barton and Co. went unpunished the entire match. Meanwhile, Newcastle were getting free-kicks left and right. It's nothing however, compared to the penalties awarded.

The first one was soft but you can understand why it was given - clumsy challenge by Koscielny + dramatic dive + pressure from the home fans = we've seen it all before. The second though, still boggles my mind. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR? Seriously, I don't think Dowd himself knows. The only explanation I can think of - it's his way of avenging his lover Lee Mason.

How nice of Philip Dowd to show solidarity with his colleague, eh? It's typical though, isn't it? Instead of admitting their mistakes and attempting to improve the game, they go all out, trying to show us who's the boss.

I said it in my previous post, the "governing bodies" can't keep preaching to us about how the officials should be respected. It's hard to argue with the abuse they're getting when they're put on a pedestal by the FA - you can never question their decisions, publicly criticize them or post mildly amusing photoshops on twitter (the number one source for reliable and official information). 

It makes them believe they're untouchable. They feel as if they're allowed to turn their job into a subjective matter. And if you intentionally make your officiating subjective, you're a pathetic excuse of a referee.

But I have to admit, as much of a cunt as Phil Dowd is, he's not the main reason we didn't win yesterday. The main reason is our team. Because it doesn't matter how much the ref tries to make it happen for the opposition, you still should have enough to win the game you're leading by FOUR clear goals with half an hour to go.

Abou Diaby's sending off was definitely the turning point. You can't really argue with the red card but you can argue with some of the fans' reactions and proposals to hang him from the tallest chapel.

Diaby almost had his career ended by a horrendous tackle during his first season with us. Since then he's been in and out of the treatment room, thanks to some really bad challenges and that Barton challenge was BAD. Anyone, who's not a robot unable to feel emotions, should understand his reaction, especially given the fact that Phil Dowd gave absolutely no protection to our players. Having said that, he's a professional and if he can't cope with the mental aspect of the game then both Arsenal and Diaby have a serious problem.

I also want to mention, watching the "pundits" on MOTD, say that the tackle on Diaby is "tough but nothing wrong with it", was rather cringe worthy.

You know what else was cringe worthy? Our defence! When Johan Djourou went off injured, I immediately knew we would concede (not 4, mind you). Sébastien Squillaci is just a terrible, terrible central defender. I try to be cautious but comparisons with Silvestre are inevitable. Although, Silvestre has been getting death threats from Werder fans this season, so I don't think Squillaci is at his level...yet.

I could talk about how the manager should have bought a new defender in January but I will not do that because I am not a masochist.

Then, there's Tomas Rosicky who was responsible for at least TWO of Newcastle goals. It really is sad watching his downfall but he's become a clear liability. He brings about as much to our game as a mutant crossbreed of Denilson and Eboue. I'm afraid he's got to go this summer.

And I should probably mention Cesc Fabregas - who's second half performance was way below par. He didn't try to make anything happen in that second half and just sort of rode the wave, along with most of the other players. There were periods in the last half an hour when it felt like no one was leading our team - we looked lost. No one, who could have dealt with the panic.

The only positive to come out of all this mess is Man Utd's defeat to Wolves, which not only means that we've closed the gap to four points but also that our 49 unbeaten record is safe for now. They can try again next season.

And those who say, they feel worse in light of Utd's defeat - need their heads examined. Think about it...the only reason they lost is because we failed to win. They went out there thinking they've won the league. Had we managed to hang on to our lead and take all the points, the Mancs would've spanked Wolves...SO hard.

Believe me.

To conclude:

Fuck you, Phil Dowd. 

Fuck you, Lee Mason.

Fuck you, Joey Barton - as a footballer and as a motherfuckin' human being.

And if you wanna be down with those cunts

Then fuck you too

"Match of the Day", fuck you too

All you motherfuckers, fuck you too

MY FO FO MAKE SURE ALL YO KIDS DONT GROW...

...or something less violent.

ARSENAL 2 - 1 EVERTON: MOYES AND MASON ARE SITTING IN A TREE - F.U.C.K.I.N.G.

A quick recap of yesterday's match.

Ok, so yesterday we played Everton at the Emirates and we won. It was a great match and three very important points in the bag, especially since everyone flat-out refuses to beat Man Utd.

However instead of the thorough statistical analysis of the match (ha-ha), I want to talk about several things which I found to be utterly irritating during yesterdays game - Lee Mason, Stephen Child and David Moyes.

Let's start with the disastrous officiating.

For the opening goal, Seamus Coleman played a pass to Louis Saha, Koscielny attempted an overhead kick to clear the ball - slightly touching it, before Saha smashed it past Szczesny. Oh, I almost forgot, Saha was at least a yard offside.

The entire stadium, the managers, the players and all the TV viewers - SAW IT.  Absolutely everyone - except the person who's actually hired to do it. It was an unbelievably bad decision from Stephen Child to allow it. Yes, Koscielny got a touch but Saha was already offside when Coleman's pass was played.  

The stadium was roaring and when Mason went over to the linesman for a chat/explanation, I was quietly hoping, he was trying to avoid the colossal fuck up. But I came to my senses as soon he pointed to the center-circle, several seconds later. FUCK. FUCKITY. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

Had Everton managed to hold on to that goal, it would've signaled the end for out title aspirations and a looming shitstorm for Lee Mason. One shit refereeing decision almost wrecked our season - the severity of that sentence scares me to no end.

There should be repercussions for Mason and Child, like in any other profession. If you cannot adequately do your job, usually you're not allowed to continue.

If you're getting a blood transfusion and the doctor in charge accidentally infects you with AIDS, you wouldn't dismiss it as just a "human error", forget about it and move on, would you? The answer is "FUCK NO!" That fucker ruined your life and the least you would do is make sure he's never allowed to step foot in a hospital.

Well,  then you would agree the situation with Lee Mason and his minion is no different. Their monstrous cock up yesterday, almost infected our title challenge with AIDS, we were 20 minutes away from conceding the league to Man Utd - there and then.

But will the FA actually act on it, demote them, discipline them? Of course not. They keep preaching that referees must be respected but the truth is, more often than not - they don't deserve any fucking respect.

We keep seeing referees make the kind of "blunders" which we thought weren't possible for professionals to make, yet the people in charge of the so-called "best league in he world" have no hesitation in employing them. I think the fact that Howard Webb is supposed to be the best referee in England tells its own story.

 ARRRGGHHH!1111!!!!!!!!!1

Thankfully the feeling of injustice was the fuel for the great second half where we managed to turn the game on its head. Hand on heart - I didn't think we could do it.

I thought it was going to be one of those days - a terrible decision would cost us the game. Then Arsene would say something in his post-match interview about the officials which the FA would fine him for and then Sky Sports and all the back pages would discuss it for awhile before deciding that Lee Mason is just a human and we, apparently, all make mistakes. Case closed.

BUT Arsenal had other ideas in mind. First, Cesc's pass found Arshavin (who had come on as a sub eight minutes earlier) in the box and through slight deflection via Rodwell's head he comfortably beat Howard, to net his first goal since the draw at Wigan.

Then, six minutes later came the winner. Van Persie's corner found Koscielny's head before finding the back of the net.

I could feel the vibrations (feel it, feel it) of the Emirates through my TV. The celebrations were glorious.

There was about 15 minutes of normal time and FIVE minutes of injury time left to play but we managed to hang on.

At the final whistle I felt so exhausted, even though I barely moved throughout the match.

What a fantastic comeback, absolutely NOTHING could spoil it...oh wait, what's that?

Everton boss David Moyes:  

"The comments which Cesc Fabregas made to the fourth official and referee at half time deserved a sending off. He's a big player for them. I think it changed the flow of the game. I'm not going to repeat what he said, I'll let them tell you what he said."

Um...what?

Whatever those comments were, they were 100% deserved. IF, in fact, they were actually made.

At first, I thought maybe Moyes, is simply trying to stir some shit in order to divert attention from the fact that his team is now only three points off the relegation zone. But then it dawned on me - he's a GINGER. HA! This illogical attention seeking is an attempt to overcompensate for the fact that he will never be loved!

Seriously though, Everton had four shots on target, one of which resulted in an unjust goal that should have never been allowed to stand. Moyes, of all people, really has nothing to complain about here.

I've always liked Everton but THIS is simply pathetic. If you want us to believe your bullshit story David Moyes, then I only have one thing to say to you:

TITS OR GTFO!!!

Uh...actually...umm...that came out wrong.

PICS OR GTFO. Yes, pics. NOT tits.

The last thing I want do is look at David Moyes' tits.

Definitely.

UPDATE: David Moyes has denied the claims which suggest he could be lying. CLICK HERE to watch his interview (It's worth watching, believe me).