CARLING CUP FINAL: AT THE GRASP OF OUR FINGERTIPS BUT WE LET IT SLIP...AGAIN.

Ice-Cream Cat is going to let Jack have as much ice-cream as he wishes because he deserves better in life than to lose his first Cup final to Lee Bower.

At the final whistle, of our yesterday's Carling Cup final defeat to Birmingham, there were two things on my mind:

One - I want to hug the crap out of Jack Wilshere,

and

Two - Will I ever see this Arsenal team win a trophy?

I never thought I would ever feel this upset about a Carling Cup game but here I am, feeling only slightly less depressed than five years ago after losing to Barca in Paris.

Especially since Birmingham's win wasn't a result of some refereeing cock up or cheating or anything similar. No, it was a result of determination and hard work. They wanted it more and it was pretty evident, when with about twenty minutes to go, Roger Johnson was limping after injuring himself but refused to come off.

And while saying they deserved it wouldn't be completely true, at least according to statistics, it's impossible to deny the fact, they've won it fair and square. What their game plan lacked in creativity it made up in efficiency.

Our team, on the other hand, seemed if not disinterested then definitely uninspired, at times. There were very few Arsenal players on that lime green Wembley pitch who looked like they were up to the task.

It's funny how Arsene always talks about the depth of our current squad yet the minute you take one "starting XI" player out of the team, we appear lost. And yes, I know it's not just any player, it's Fabregas but seriously, how thin does his absence make our squad look? It's when he's not playing that it becomes so evident - how truly integral he is to our team. And it's not even his passing or his creativity, it's the way he manages to keep our team together, make them "click", if you will.

Playing Rosicky in Cesc's position was never going to lead to anything positive. I said it in one of my previous posts, Tomas brings about as much to our team as a mutant crossbreed between *insert the names of two players who aren't very good*. As much as I dislike Diaby, I honestly believe he would've done a better job.

Our defense wasn't half as solid as they'd been in previous games. There was a lot of pre-match talk about Nikola Žigić and how dangerous he is and how we should pay more attention to him. So naturally, it was him who headed in the opener, after we failed to properly clear Birmingham's corner.

We managed to pick ourselves up with five minutes to go before half-time. Jack Wilshere's shot went off the crossbar, Arshavin picked it up, his cross found Van Persie in the center of the penalty box and he volleyed home the equalizer but not before taking a heavy knock to his knee.

At that point, I'm hoping it'll be a different story in the second half. And it was, to an extent. We started off brightly, Ben Foster was forced to make some decent saves but when Robin couldn't shake off his injury, he had to be replaced by Bendtner. Unfortunately, replacing creativity with confidence doesn't always work.

Several minutes later, Chamakh replaced Arshavin - who despite having a relatively poor game wasn't as ineffective as Rosicky.

We're into the final 15 minutes of the match, Birmingham has a limping central defender and we have some fresh blood in attack. Can we pull if off or will we bottle it once again? Oh god, even if you didn't know the final score, this question would have sound rhetorical.

With about a minute of normal time left to play, a defensive mix-up/monstrous fuck up between Wojciech Szczesny and Laurent Koscielny, led to Obafemi Martins scoring the simplest of tap-ins he'll ever score - to win Birmingham's first major trophy since 1963.

It also guarantees them a place in the Europa League and there's nothing to say other than - "Congratulations". They did seem like they wanted it more, didn't they?

What a comically ridiculous was to lose a cup final, eh?

Is there a point in talking about what a win would've done for our confidence and our pursuit of the Premier League? About how it would've, at least for awhile, shut all the critics who gloat with glee over our trophy-less misfortunes up? About how it could affect the rest of our season? About how there is now a real possibility we might be out of all cup competitions by the end of next week?

No, no there is no point.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I had a sneaky feeling it wasn't going to be our day at the very start of the game, when Wojciech Szczesny fouled Lee Bower in the box but linesman wrongly flagged for offside. Had the flag stayed down it would've been a very different story and our defeat would've been much easier to accept.

Before I'm done, I want to say a word about Jack Wilshere - the only player who tried to make things happen for us, yesterday. The only Arsenal player who showed as much desire to win it as Birmingham did. It was his drive from the midfield which led to our only goal.

For a 19 year old to get to the Cup final at Wembley, to feel his first trophy, as a professional, at the grasp of the fingertips and have it taken away - must feel pretty awful.

Seeing him cry at the end was heartbreaking, mostly because it was like watching a fellow fan cry. I just wanted to pinch his cheeks and buy him an ice-cream. You could tell it wasn't some ego-trip, à la John Terry in the Champions League. You could tell it was sincere. Aww :(

Therefore, I believe we can all agree on one thing - Alex McLeish makes babies cry!

The end.

(*btw, the original top pic is via)

ARSENAL 2 - 0 WOLVES: ROBIN VAN PERSIE BREAKS RECORDS AND MICK MCCARTHY IS CLASSY.

Robin van Persie, Michael McCarthy. The former breaks records. The latter's just classy.

Last time we played Wolves (which was in November, by the way) we finished the match with the exact same scoreline as today - this would have to be the only similarity between the two games.

The former, was a rather nervy affair. Marouane Chamakh scored in the first and the last minutes of the match to secure the points. However, the hero of the day, turned out to be the one and only Lukas Fabianski - after making a string of crucial saves. I think, after that game, everyone became a bit more at ease with having him as our number one.

I have to say, before he got injured, I was secretly hoping he would emulate his performance in today's game as well. Just so I could use "BAMBI FENDS OFF WOLVES" as my main headline. Since I missed out on that opportunity the last time. Oh well...

Anyway, it was a completely different story this time around.

For one thing, it wasn't Chamakh who was leading our attack, it was Robin van Persie - top scorer in the Premier League in 2011.  He scored both of our goals and could have easily had another hat-trick. He now has ELEVEN Premier League goals and according to Infostrada - he's broken a record for most goals scored in first two months of a calendar year.

Had he been fit from August through November, one would assume we'd be a lot closer to the top of the table than we are at the moment. He's always been world-class but I guess we're finally starting to see and benefit from it. For how long? I don't know. Every time we're starting to believe his problems are behind him - the rug is pulled from under our feet by another injury.

Then there's Jack Wishere, who very obviously is high on confidence after his midweek England debut. Some of the passes, which he managed to pick out, were absolutely brilliant.

The kind of passes we are used to seeing from Cesc - who had a quiet game overall (by his standards) and was extremely wasteful in front of goal, it has to be mentioned.

Which segues nicely to my next point: HOW MANY FUCKING CHANCES DO WE NEED TO SCORE A GOAL? AARRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!11!!1

It is so unbelievably frustrating to watch, how we squander chance after chance. There were periods in that match, when I thought we'd never score another goal...ever again. When Van Persie was through on goal for his second, I honestly expected it to either go wide or hit the post.

Theo in particular, has been making some questionable decisions in front of goal, lately. His second half miss (of the match) was especially irritating. Is Thierry Henry still training with us? Maybe he needs to show Walcott some of his DVD's (with Henry on it I mean, not some random stuff like "Aladdin" - which i assume Theo would enjoy). I take nothing away from his assist, though.

In defence, I thought we looked comfortable and dealt with most of the set-pieces - which ironically account for 90% of the goals conceded for Arsenal and goals scored for Wolves (these stats are unconfirmed).

There wasn't a hint of any kind of hangover from last Saturday's nightmarish second half and I did not expect one, to be honest. We played that second half with ten men against Newcastle's TWELVE (get it? it's a Phil Dowd diss) and no Johan Djourou.

A couple of years ago no one would've predicted just how instrumental and important of a role Djourou would play for us. These statistics from OptaJean pretty much sum up that second half against Newcastle:

Djourou/Koscielny: 1 goal conceded every 295 mins (2 goals in 590 mins), 

Squillaci/Koscielny: 1 every 47 mins (20 in 949).

HOLY SHIT!

 Afterward Wolves' boss Mick McCarthy said this:

"There was a murder going on. They have murdered us today - all over the park, from 1 to 11, they were better than us, stronger than us and quicker than us. I have to admire their class and the way they play. We were spanked."

Oh, whatever you...wait, what? The manager of the losing team admits they were outplayed? WHY?

He could've complained about how our second goal should've been ruled out for offside or how they were denied a "stonewall" penalty. His team is rock bottom and he doesn't even try to divert attention and simply admits their shortcomings?

What is the world coming to?

*cough* David Moyes *cough*

NEWCASTLE 4 - 4 ARSENAL: PHIL DOWD AND LEE MASON ARE SITTING IN A TREE - F.U.C.K.I.N.G.

"Me and Lee Mason care very deeply about each other so beat it, Hobbit boy."

It seems like only a couple of days ago I was writing a post about the Everton game and the incompetence of Lee Mason and his minions. I had never written a post about an Arsenal match - so heavily focused on referees before and I genuinely thought I wouldn't be dragged into doing that again.

I've seen a lot of costly fuck ups made by the officials throughout the years and I would have thought I'm used to them by now. But every once in awhile, you see a refereeing performance so pathetic in its inadequacy, you're obliged to react - like yesterday, against Newcastle.

Idiotic, risky and dangerous challenges by Joey Barton and Co. went unpunished the entire match. Meanwhile, Newcastle were getting free-kicks left and right. It's nothing however, compared to the penalties awarded.

The first one was soft but you can understand why it was given - clumsy challenge by Koscielny + dramatic dive + pressure from the home fans = we've seen it all before. The second though, still boggles my mind. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR? Seriously, I don't think Dowd himself knows. The only explanation I can think of - it's his way of avenging his lover Lee Mason.

How nice of Philip Dowd to show solidarity with his colleague, eh? It's typical though, isn't it? Instead of admitting their mistakes and attempting to improve the game, they go all out, trying to show us who's the boss.

I said it in my previous post, the "governing bodies" can't keep preaching to us about how the officials should be respected. It's hard to argue with the abuse they're getting when they're put on a pedestal by the FA - you can never question their decisions, publicly criticize them or post mildly amusing photoshops on twitter (the number one source for reliable and official information). 

It makes them believe they're untouchable. They feel as if they're allowed to turn their job into a subjective matter. And if you intentionally make your officiating subjective, you're a pathetic excuse of a referee.

But I have to admit, as much of a cunt as Phil Dowd is, he's not the main reason we didn't win yesterday. The main reason is our team. Because it doesn't matter how much the ref tries to make it happen for the opposition, you still should have enough to win the game you're leading by FOUR clear goals with half an hour to go.

Abou Diaby's sending off was definitely the turning point. You can't really argue with the red card but you can argue with some of the fans' reactions and proposals to hang him from the tallest chapel.

Diaby almost had his career ended by a horrendous tackle during his first season with us. Since then he's been in and out of the treatment room, thanks to some really bad challenges and that Barton challenge was BAD. Anyone, who's not a robot unable to feel emotions, should understand his reaction, especially given the fact that Phil Dowd gave absolutely no protection to our players. Having said that, he's a professional and if he can't cope with the mental aspect of the game then both Arsenal and Diaby have a serious problem.

I also want to mention, watching the "pundits" on MOTD, say that the tackle on Diaby is "tough but nothing wrong with it", was rather cringe worthy.

You know what else was cringe worthy? Our defence! When Johan Djourou went off injured, I immediately knew we would concede (not 4, mind you). Sébastien Squillaci is just a terrible, terrible central defender. I try to be cautious but comparisons with Silvestre are inevitable. Although, Silvestre has been getting death threats from Werder fans this season, so I don't think Squillaci is at his level...yet.

I could talk about how the manager should have bought a new defender in January but I will not do that because I am not a masochist.

Then, there's Tomas Rosicky who was responsible for at least TWO of Newcastle goals. It really is sad watching his downfall but he's become a clear liability. He brings about as much to our game as a mutant crossbreed of Denilson and Eboue. I'm afraid he's got to go this summer.

And I should probably mention Cesc Fabregas - who's second half performance was way below par. He didn't try to make anything happen in that second half and just sort of rode the wave, along with most of the other players. There were periods in the last half an hour when it felt like no one was leading our team - we looked lost. No one, who could have dealt with the panic.

The only positive to come out of all this mess is Man Utd's defeat to Wolves, which not only means that we've closed the gap to four points but also that our 49 unbeaten record is safe for now. They can try again next season.

And those who say, they feel worse in light of Utd's defeat - need their heads examined. Think about it...the only reason they lost is because we failed to win. They went out there thinking they've won the league. Had we managed to hang on to our lead and take all the points, the Mancs would've spanked Wolves...SO hard.

Believe me.

To conclude:

Fuck you, Phil Dowd. 

Fuck you, Lee Mason.

Fuck you, Joey Barton - as a footballer and as a motherfuckin' human being.

And if you wanna be down with those cunts

Then fuck you too

"Match of the Day", fuck you too

All you motherfuckers, fuck you too

MY FO FO MAKE SURE ALL YO KIDS DONT GROW...

...or something less violent.

ARSENAL 2 - 1 EVERTON: MOYES AND MASON ARE SITTING IN A TREE - F.U.C.K.I.N.G.

A quick recap of yesterday's match.

Ok, so yesterday we played Everton at the Emirates and we won. It was a great match and three very important points in the bag, especially since everyone flat-out refuses to beat Man Utd.

However instead of the thorough statistical analysis of the match (ha-ha), I want to talk about several things which I found to be utterly irritating during yesterdays game - Lee Mason, Stephen Child and David Moyes.

Let's start with the disastrous officiating.

For the opening goal, Seamus Coleman played a pass to Louis Saha, Koscielny attempted an overhead kick to clear the ball - slightly touching it, before Saha smashed it past Szczesny. Oh, I almost forgot, Saha was at least a yard offside.

The entire stadium, the managers, the players and all the TV viewers - SAW IT.  Absolutely everyone - except the person who's actually hired to do it. It was an unbelievably bad decision from Stephen Child to allow it. Yes, Koscielny got a touch but Saha was already offside when Coleman's pass was played.  

The stadium was roaring and when Mason went over to the linesman for a chat/explanation, I was quietly hoping, he was trying to avoid the colossal fuck up. But I came to my senses as soon he pointed to the center-circle, several seconds later. FUCK. FUCKITY. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

Had Everton managed to hold on to that goal, it would've signaled the end for out title aspirations and a looming shitstorm for Lee Mason. One shit refereeing decision almost wrecked our season - the severity of that sentence scares me to no end.

There should be repercussions for Mason and Child, like in any other profession. If you cannot adequately do your job, usually you're not allowed to continue.

If you're getting a blood transfusion and the doctor in charge accidentally infects you with AIDS, you wouldn't dismiss it as just a "human error", forget about it and move on, would you? The answer is "FUCK NO!" That fucker ruined your life and the least you would do is make sure he's never allowed to step foot in a hospital.

Well,  then you would agree the situation with Lee Mason and his minion is no different. Their monstrous cock up yesterday, almost infected our title challenge with AIDS, we were 20 minutes away from conceding the league to Man Utd - there and then.

But will the FA actually act on it, demote them, discipline them? Of course not. They keep preaching that referees must be respected but the truth is, more often than not - they don't deserve any fucking respect.

We keep seeing referees make the kind of "blunders" which we thought weren't possible for professionals to make, yet the people in charge of the so-called "best league in he world" have no hesitation in employing them. I think the fact that Howard Webb is supposed to be the best referee in England tells its own story.

 ARRRGGHHH!1111!!!!!!!!!1

Thankfully the feeling of injustice was the fuel for the great second half where we managed to turn the game on its head. Hand on heart - I didn't think we could do it.

I thought it was going to be one of those days - a terrible decision would cost us the game. Then Arsene would say something in his post-match interview about the officials which the FA would fine him for and then Sky Sports and all the back pages would discuss it for awhile before deciding that Lee Mason is just a human and we, apparently, all make mistakes. Case closed.

BUT Arsenal had other ideas in mind. First, Cesc's pass found Arshavin (who had come on as a sub eight minutes earlier) in the box and through slight deflection via Rodwell's head he comfortably beat Howard, to net his first goal since the draw at Wigan.

Then, six minutes later came the winner. Van Persie's corner found Koscielny's head before finding the back of the net.

I could feel the vibrations (feel it, feel it) of the Emirates through my TV. The celebrations were glorious.

There was about 15 minutes of normal time and FIVE minutes of injury time left to play but we managed to hang on.

At the final whistle I felt so exhausted, even though I barely moved throughout the match.

What a fantastic comeback, absolutely NOTHING could spoil it...oh wait, what's that?

Everton boss David Moyes:  

"The comments which Cesc Fabregas made to the fourth official and referee at half time deserved a sending off. He's a big player for them. I think it changed the flow of the game. I'm not going to repeat what he said, I'll let them tell you what he said."

Um...what?

Whatever those comments were, they were 100% deserved. IF, in fact, they were actually made.

At first, I thought maybe Moyes, is simply trying to stir some shit in order to divert attention from the fact that his team is now only three points off the relegation zone. But then it dawned on me - he's a GINGER. HA! This illogical attention seeking is an attempt to overcompensate for the fact that he will never be loved!

Seriously though, Everton had four shots on target, one of which resulted in an unjust goal that should have never been allowed to stand. Moyes, of all people, really has nothing to complain about here.

I've always liked Everton but THIS is simply pathetic. If you want us to believe your bullshit story David Moyes, then I only have one thing to say to you:

TITS OR GTFO!!!

Uh...actually...umm...that came out wrong.

PICS OR GTFO. Yes, pics. NOT tits.

The last thing I want do is look at David Moyes' tits.

Definitely.

UPDATE: David Moyes has denied the claims which suggest he could be lying. CLICK HERE to watch his interview (It's worth watching, believe me).

RUSSIAN SPORT EXPRESS INTERVIEWS ANDREI ARSHAVIN, I TRANSLATE. POORLY.

Arshavin has refuted the claims that he simply doesn't give a sh!t anymore.

This is my translation of Andrei Arshavin's interview from the Russian Sport Express. Hope it makes sense.

THE SITUATION

How do you see the current situation?

Everything's going the way it's going. Since the Chelsea match our team's been looking very confident and winning points feels easier than at the start of the season.

But, unfortunately, practically without you.

What can I do - that's the way it has turned out.

And how do you feel about that?

Naturally, I want to play in every match. But at the moment, those who play in my position - Samir and Theo (Nasri and Walcott), - look very good. They are in perfect shape and that's why they're out on the pitch.

And you, it turns out, are far from being in perfect shape? Otherwise, I think no competition would've forced you to sit on the bench.
 
Hopefully, your statement is correct but to verify it I really need to get in a better shape.

What do you need for that to happen?

Work hard in training - football doesn't have any other recipes.

PHYSICAL

I think, that to treat any disease, we must first figure out the correct diagnosis. Let's start with the "physical" aspect. How do you feel?

It varies. There are matches when I feel good, there are matches when I feel worse. But in general, I feel alright.

Nevertheless, it can be seen with the naked eye, that you are inferior to yourself from 2008. What do you think?

I think, at the moment I'm lacking sharpness.

What are the reasons?

I don't know. There are no objective reasons. Maybe, I'm getting older (smiles)

At 29? Tell me, the amount of training work you do, remains the same?

Naturally. But you can't get back to your best, only through training - you have to play games. I'm out on the pitch fairly regularly, actually. Our schedule, at this time, allows everyone to get matches.

But you play, mostly, in cup matches. Where, calling a spade a spade, plays a second string squad.

You're right, although I'm taking it in stride - it's a phase that I need to get trough. I've nothing to reproach myself with. There isn't anything I do that could've knocked me off the track and interfered with my football. I follow strictly, all the coaches' instructions. At the start of the season I stopped drinking, not only alcohol, but even Coca-Cola. By the way, maybe that's the problem? (laughs)

But you probably know your body better than any coach and through the years have come up with tricks how to get yourself in the best shape.

That's why I need more rest - no training, just games. (laughs) But if we're being serious then the work you do in training, naturally, can't be bad for you. And generally, for me personally, training work doesn't vary anymore - (Vlastimil) Petrjela, (Dick) Advocaat, (Arsene) Wenger - it's all similar.

Then what are the sources of variation in physical fitness?

A phase of life, country, food, the way you feel on the inside, etc.

Maybe, Russians simply cannot be in good shape during the winter because their bodies are used to rest in this time of year?

Convenient excuse, but no one really knows whether it's actually true.

And when was the first time you felt that you were lacking sharpness?

Since the start of the season it would only be there occasionally.

Maybe, the unusually long summer vacation is to blame?

Not excluded. Recently, I read what our Biathlon coach had so say: Two month without full training is devastating for any professional athlete. And no exercises, workouts or jogging you do on your own, will save the situation.

Were you feeling fine during the pre-season, after two months of vacation?

Absolutely. It was even easier than usual.

Today, besides the usual training work, is there anything else you do to improve the situation?

Coaches give me personal tasks, which are meant to improve my starting speed.

Do you feel you're benefiting from those?

Initially it felt really good, but now it seems I've gotten used to it.

Do you believe that the key to your current situation is physical fitness?

It doesn't work like that: something's excellent, something's awful. Naturally, after two or three not very successful matches, especially if they're Cup matches, confidence in your own abilities is starting to drop.

PSYCHOLOGY 

How does it show?

When you're completely fine, you don't even think, what you should do in a given situation: you operate in an automatic regime. Now, however you get the ball and you start thinking: Should I go it alone? What if I lose the ball? And if I'll pass it, they'll think I just want to get rid of it, that I'm afraid to take over the game? When these type of thoughts are starting to occur, the decision you make is almost always wrong. As a result, you miss a lot of great chances. For example, in the replay match with Leeds, I was in a good position but fired a shot that ended up on the roof of the stadium: for the first time in history of the arena. Couldn't have done it on purpose. Rugby players would have been envious.

Maybe, you're affected by the fact that in the Zenith and the National Team squad you've always been the undisputed leader who was allowed to do absolutely anything but at Arsenal you don't have that status?

Hard to say, but I definitely don't feel any discomfort of such kind.

Is your team's psychological field important to you? (ed: not 100% sure it's correct but there's no other way to translate it)

It is important for any athlete who plays in a team. But here you definitely won't find anything worrying - I don't have problems with my team-mates.

What has Wenger been telling you in recent weeks?

Nothing special. He's been supporting me publicly more.

Do you think, him leaving you on the bench has an element of trying to teach you a lesson?

Certainly not. Arsene just picks those who are currently in better form. Besides, regarding training he doesn't have any complaints and he has said so himself.

Doesn't the idea, that your team-mates are now stronger than you are, knocks you even further off the track?

No, of course not. My problems are not my team-mates, the problems are IN me. They need to be resolved - and everything will fall into place. Hopefully, it'll happen sooner rather than later.

When was the first time you realized some of the thinking you do on the pitch is unnecessary?

In recent matches.

And how do you get rid of it?

Unfortunately, there's no switch in your body that could turn off all the unwanted thoughts. You have to train, to play - confidence and automatic decision making will come back only after several successful matches.

How quickly do you forget failures?

It varies. It all depends on the extent of the failure.

I have a feeling that the trail from Maribor* has stretched up to here... (*city in Slovenia where Russia failed to qualify for the WC 2010 )

It definitely does not affect my current game.

What does affect it - local failures?

Actually, nothing critical is happening. At the moment, the rhythm of the game, when the club plays four matches in ten days - is the best medicine to forget about all the setbacks.

How does your self-esteem change after a major success or a deafening failure?

Not the self-esteem but once again, the level of confidence.

And what if your team will start winning title after title, would you be ready to stay and take on a secondary role?

If it is going to be the condition of our success - of course. But no true athlete would wish to simply be a passenger.

When you were on your way to England, you had plans for the near future. Are they starting to materialize?

I wanted to see how everything works here, to play in the best league in the world, in one of the best teams of that league, with team-mates, some of whom are among the best in the world. All of this is happening.

What about your own place in this idyllic English picture. Are you satisfied?

Not totally. Something seems to be working out but it obviously could be better.

Even now, during your slump, you dream of global achievements?

Yes. I know: If you play football really well, they will come.

You just need to understand what you have to do for that to happen.

If it could have been calculated mathematically, there would've been a lot of great football players. As it is - there are one or two.

Has the complete lifestyle change affected your game?

At home, of course, I feel much more comfortable but also, I'm fully used to London, by now. Here, everything's more measured, calmer, quieter. Although, naturally some domestic problems were solved a lot easier in St. Petersburg. Getting used to London was really hard but right now I don't have any problems.

Maybe, a more measured way of life is responsible for the lack of drive on the pitch?

Who can determine exactly?

MENTALITY

Maybe, you've become a bit calmer and more sensible - thanks to the new lifestyle and everything you've been through.

Have my habits and my nature changed, it can only be assessed by the people close to me and only after I'll come back to Russia.

In football, do you think you've reached the top?

I think, there's still something left in the "stockpile". I hope, I can raise the bar.

Meanwhile, some say your career is on the decline.

What can I say? Everyone has the right to believe what they want. I'm not going to argue with anyone: my job is to play football. I still have time.

What about the desire and the energy?

Desire is definitely there. Energy, as well. Sometimes.

There's another point of view: tough and dynamic English League isn't suited for your style of play.

Football that Arsenal plays suits me completely. Of course, pace of the game in England is higher than anywhere else in the world but this is why it's the best league in the world. Playing here - the most powerful motivator.

Can you already call the English League your own?

I've been here for two years - during these months, it really has been mine.

Do you feel like you've proven everything you wanted to?

I wasn't trying to prove anything to anyone. Only to myself.

How high, the bar on the inside is raised?

I've never even attempted to determine it. Generally, I never think about the global aspects of my career. I'll take what I'm given.

But it happens, sometimes, that people blow their chances.

Maybe, but let me reiterate: my main critic is myself, however at this stage I couldn't blame myself for doing something wrong even if I wanted to.

Is there someone who's giving you advice about life in football?

I don't think there's anyone who can tell me more than I already know

Just imagine how happy you're making your enemies, right now.

Let them be happy. (laughs) That's the way life is - someone's rooting for you, someone's gloating.

LIFE GOES ON

January 1 Arsenal had an away game at Birmingham. Did you celebrate the New Year on the bus, on the way there?

No, we had the time to check into our hotel before midnight.

UK time?

Moscow time.

And, was it festive?

You're kidding?

Did you at least make a wish?

Yes. The way it should be done - with the sound of the clock chimes, I drank a little champagne, I threw the ashes of the paper on which I'd written my wish, into the glass.

Was the wish football related?

I would say - universal, football-o-human.

Pavlyuchenko told me the exact same thing.

Me and Yulia once taught this to Roma and Larisa.

Do the rumors which are sending you to either Juventus or Chelsea have some truth in them?

Of course, not. My thoughts right now, are all about the Arsenal.

This season at Arsenal, everyone's asking questions about the title.

It's too soon to talk about the title. But right now we're in a good position and have been playing very confidently in the recent matches. I'm particularly pleased that we're conceding a lot less.

But Manchester United still refuses to lose.

I have thought about this: wouldn't it be cool if they didn't lose a single match but still not ended up as Champions. They have enough draws.

Do you share the views of those who think that Man Utd this season is inferior to Man Utd from a couple of seasons ago?

Probably, not - they're about the same. It's clear that a lot depends on Rooney, and this season he's been scoring a lot less than previously. But this is actually their advantage - if they managed to grab so many points without their star-striker, what will happen once he's back to his best? It's the story of Michael Jordan and Chicago Bulls. Everybody knew he never scores less than 25-30 points a game. And when at the start of the game he wasn't at his best and the team was losing, everyone was calm - they were just waiting for him to get going.

Has Chelsea fallen apart?

No, of course not. They had a lot of problems - injuries to key players. But now, everything seems to be back to normal. I'm sure pretty soon they'll start playing in their usual tempo. Manchester City and Tottenham also shouldn't be dismissed. We're not lacking competition.

In relation to Manchester United, do you feel you're chasing them or do you feel you're on equal terms?

The fight at the top of the table is escalating, every point is as valuable as gold. There's great pressure on everyone and those who are better equipped to deal with it - those will finish first.

In the Champions League, the draw has once again, slipped you Barcelona. What are your thoughts?

I hope, this season our matches against Barca will turn out differently than in the past, otherwise we're gonna have to ask ourselves what have we been doing all this time? Of course, at this stage we would've preferred an "easier" opponent but we've only got ourselves to blame - we should've topped our group. But we lost at Braga, a game which we absolutely had to win.

How do you feel about the extremely short stop you're going to have to make in the Emirates for the National Team match?

It's a further proof that club football is pushing the international game more and more to the sidelines.

Why is that?

Money. Why else?

Does this mean that in Abu-Dhabi no one will be trying too hard?

If someone didn't want to play for the national team, they simply would have refused to come. If we're going, it means we want to play and we will play. The amount of inconveniences it will create is another matter.

All of our national teams' leaders who play in England have problems with the amount of playing time they're getting. So, as it turns out even the best Russian players aren't good enough for the local level?

No. Yuri Zhirkov is injured and the rest are in difficult situations. If there were twenty of us and we were all sitting on the bench, these type of conclusion would be appropriate but right now, there's obviously not enough "material". Especially, since all of us, one way of another make it to the pitch. A month ago I was still playing regularly - was the level of football in Russia different then? It's the kind of mentality we have in our country, once someone gets benched - everyone immediately starts drawing global conclusions. In England it's a fairly standard situation. Take [Tomas] Rosicky, for example - the leader of the Czech national team but for the past two seasons he hasn't been playing regularly. Does it mean that the Czech football is weak now? Or Gyan - Africa's player of the year, until Sunderland's Darren Bent was sold, he didn't have much playing time. But no-one was throwing any tantrums about that.

Nevertheless, we all want to constantly see you in the Arsenal squad.

I want it more than anyone else. Naturally, the current situation does not suit me. What can I do - keep living and trying to improve.

Outside of football, do you manage to keep your spirits up?

The moods are changing, life doesn't consist of just football. But football - the most important part, that's why I always want to play.

source

WIGAN 2 - 2 ARSENAL: SAD WALRUS HAS SOME THOUGHTS.

Sad Walrus thinks all the good work from the Chelsea game has been undone with this result.

Sad Walrus is a huge Arsenal fan. He goes to every game, as matter of fact he's a season ticket holder. He's got family and kids to feed and in these tough economic times, for a simple plumber like Sad Walrus, it's especially hard. And yet he has no doubt in his mind that splashing out 1100£ on a season ticket is absolutely worth it. Although he would never admit it.

See, our Walrus here, has become a bit disillusioned with Arsenal's form in recent seasons. He claims he isn't bothered anymore with this team. He thinks Wenger's method is outdated and he's not going to rest until the manager is sacked. He tells everyone he's only been to two home games this season and his Fulham supporting step-brother is actually the one using his season ticket. I suspect he's lying.

I know he's doing it out of love, though. Deep down inside, he's hurting. And the reason he's saying he's given up on Arsenal is because he cares. He cares a lot more than most of the other fans. He's invested a lot of money in our great club but it's nothing compared to the amount of emotional distress it has caused him over the years. And Sad Walrus deserves to be re-payed. He deserves to see that shiny trophy (any trophy) glisten in the sun.

So, I understand him, completely. I understand him demanding Arsene's head on a plate after yesterday's draw with Wigan. I mean, maybe he didn't have to make EIGHT changes to the team that outplayed the Champions. Rotation during this period is necessary but maybe five or six would've been enough. And he's the one who thought waiting until 85' minute to make a sub, even though it was evident to anyone with eyes our game desperately needed it, is perfectly acceptable. Not to mention him playing Arshavin AND Eboue on the same flank. (Yet I did. HA!)

And I understand him wanting a clear-out in January transfer window. After all, despite the eight changes, we really should've won. Every single player who was on that pitch yesterday is an experienced international (besides Denilson). Arshavin and Bendtner is our unwanted second string now? Bullshit! Those were players MORE than capable of beating a team in the relegation zone. They were lazy and uninspired, they don't deserve anything more than a place on the bench. On a park bench, which they'll have to share with a hobo.

Also, I understand him wanting a world-class defence. No team will ever win the league with a defence prone to the kind of mistakes which cost them games.

I understand. I want those things too, well some of them, at least.

But I just can't bring myself to give up on Arsenal, I don't think I could do it even if I try. Hell, I still think we've a chance to win some trophies this season. Sad Walrus had branded my unreasonable optimism as "blind faith".  And I'm not entirely sure he is wrong.

I just don't think I could ever wish for us to fail just so I could say "I told you so".

Maybe, I don't care enough.

Or, maybe Lee Probert deserves to be hit repeatedly over the head with a shovel.

Discuss.

THE DAY DIDIER DROGBA COULDN'T SCORE AGAINST ARSENAL.

Johan Djourou had Drogba's balls firmly in his hand the entire match.

 Ahead of our match against Chelsea yesterday, every "pundit" and sports journalist was standing in line, ready to whip out the statistics and wave them in front of anyone who would dare to be optimistic about our prospects.

However, unlike some of our previous encounters, this one didn't have "the inevitable defeat" written all over it. Somehow, despite all the stats, predictions and analysis I had a good feeling about this one. I was hoping for a win but I thought a draw was the more likely outcome. Either way, there was one thing we all were convinced was going to happen for sure - Didier Drogba would score a goal.

13 GOALS IN 13 MATCHES - Drogba's record against us. I have to admit, at this point I can't stand the sight of the fucker but GODDAMN, that's impressive!

So imagine my complete and utter shock when after the final whistle I looked at the score sheet and his name wasn't on it. That was more surprising than the score itself. Some Chelsea fans say it's down to Malaria which Drogba still hasn't completely recovered from. I say it's down to a conversation, which must've recently taken place between Johan Djourou and a certain Philippe Sylvain Senderos.

I imagine it went something like this:

Johan: Show me, where did Didier touch you?

Big Phil: ......*starts crying uncontrollably*

Johan: I shall avenge your suffering, Philippe. Mark my words.

Anyway, I am not going to jump on the bandwagon, suggesting we've broken some kind of "HOODOO". It's not like Drogba will never score against us ever again, he will. For all we know yesterday's match could be just a one-off. But hey, it doesn't matter right now because we won. Not only that, we actually outplayed them.

Every single Arsenal player deserves the praise for that performance. Song had his best game of the season so far and I'm not even talking about his super-important opener. Fabregas played like...uh...Fabregas and hopefully his goal will make him forget about his hammy.

Then there's Walcott. I wasn't worried at all when I found out he was starting. I was just glad Wenger had the balls to drop Arshavin. I knew Theo would take his chance. Not only did he set up Fabregas for our second, making Ashley Cole look like the twat he really is in the process but he also scored our third, which was as Henry-esque as it gets. The exchange of passes with Cesc, the run, the finishing - everything about Walcott's goal was top-class.

We had a lap of concentration later in the game and conceded from a set-piece but fortunately it turned out to be nothing more than a consolation for Chelsea.

FULL-TIME: Arsenal 3 - 1 Chelsea.

Great game. Great win. Too bad we only have one day to enjoy it. *frowny face*

Also, Mark Clattenburg is a useless prick but the whole time I was watching the game I couldn't help thinking that for a Premier League referee he's actually pretty decent looking. But then again, I'm a disgusting pervert with an extensive collection of midget porn.

So...Uh...Hmm...

Hey, what's that?

*runs away in tears*

ARSENAL'S SERIOUS PRE-MATCH TEAM PHOTO AND PARTIZAN BELGRADE.

Serious Cats are not impressed with our performances in Europe this season.

Even though our last group stage game in the Champions League didn't provide us with a performance to be proud of, it DID provide us with this weird as all fuck, pre-match team photo.

Absolutely everyone in the back row look like they want to murder you. Except Chamakh - he looks like he's about to date rape you.

Now, the front row - Sagna looks lost, Denilson and Gibbs look like escapees from a Chilean prison and Nasri and Arshavin could pass for models from the kids' section of a new Sears catalog.

I can't decide whether this picture is awesomely creepy or creepily awesome. Discuss

As for the Partizan match itself, I don't think it warrants any type of discussion since it was as mediocre as it gets but I'll discuss it anyway. I'm mysterious like that.

Anyway, the first half was rather dull, we took the lead via a Van Persie penalty, about 15 minutes before the interval and...Sir?...Sir?...Sir...yes, you...move along please, nothing to see here.

As the second half was about to start I thought to myself - Ok, although we've been pretty dreadful, so far, I'm sure we'll win this one comfortably. It's not like Partizan are causing any trouble. Hopefully Shakhtar will lose their game and...whoops. Surprise butt seks! Parizan score. It's 1-1.

Fuck topping the group, we should have worried about this stuff when we were losing to Braga. I just want to qualify. Cannot let Spurs advance further than us. COME ON SHAKHTAR!

My plea was followed by a very nervy half an hour, where I honestly couldn't tell which way it's gonna go. None of the players on the pitch looked like they could inspire the breakthrough. Thankfully, it's not 1952 and teams are allowed to make substitutions. The ineffective Arshavin was replaced by Theo Walcott, who in turn, replaced my anxiety with jubilation by scoring the match winning goal. 

There was another one, with about ten minutes to go from Nasri involving his trademark footwork, described by some on Saturday as "poetry in motion" but Theo's goal was definitely the one that sealed the deal.

Also, Sagna got sent off with about 5 minutes to go. It was a straight red which means he will miss the first leg of the last 16. I didn't think it was a red card but most people seem to disagree. Hopefully, his absence won't have that much of an impact, although the thought of Eboue as a cover for Messi or Ronaldo isn't a very healthy one.

Seriously though, I was terrified of us not making it to the knock-out stages. Mostly, because it would've relegated us to Europa League. And I just couldn't bear the thought of watching Arsenal play on Thursdays.

THURSDAYS?  NO, THANK YOU.

That's the kind of perverted shit which I refuse to be a part of.

THAT SAMIR NASRI IS A BIT OF ALRIGHT.

High-five Bear is pleased with Nasri's progress.

"A touch of an angel" and "Poetry in motion" - those are just some of the expressions used by the commentators to describe Nasri's match winning performance against Fulham, yesterday. And unlike their attempts to pronounce Etuhu, which sounded like a cartoon character sneezing, they got it spot on.

I don't remember exactly just how many chances we had in the opening 15 minutes of the first half but I remember thinking we are going to regret not taking them. And that's when Arshavin's pass found Nasri as he was making his run towards the goal, he stepped inside two defenders who fell for his cunning trickery before smashing a shot which would've broken the net, had it been any more powerful.

What struck me most though, was the amount of space he was getting from the Fulham defense. Their left-back (Briggs, I think) didn't even attempt to chase the ball once he lost it, he just sort of stood there giving Nasri all the time in the world and watching his "poetry in motion" like footwork.

Arsenal continued to dominate, creating and missing (of course) a host of chances and it was inevitable that we were going to pay for it. To be honest, I don't even celebrate when we score the openers anymore because I KNOW we're going to concede sooner or later. And yesterday was no exception, when at the 30 minute mark, Fulham managed to equalize with their first attempt on target.

Once again, our defense was softer than your 75 year old grandpa, who can't afford Viagra. And Alex Song is partially to blame. For the failings of our defense, I mean. If I were you though, I'd blame him for your impotent grandpa as well. I don't know what it is that makes him think he should bombard forward at every opportunity like he's fuckin' Pele but I hope it's not Wenger's encouragement. That West Ham game changed him for the worst. Since he's tasted the glory of a goal scoring hero, he hasn't been the same.

Anyway, our football wasn't particularly creative in the second half and Fulham almost snatched another one when Kamara with only Fabianski to beat, shot straight at him.

The real talking point of the match however, came via Nasri's second. I was watching the game with my Dad (true story) and right after Nasri had scored, he said: "I remember seeing a goal just like that a long time ago, I don't remember who the scorer was, though. Was it Maradonna?"

To me, that pretty much sums it up. I'm not sure about Maradonna but it was definitely Messi-esque. It even made the "Top Ten Plays" on ESPN's Sportcenter. No point describing it, here it is:

Afterwards, Fabianski was forced to make a couple of saves but that goal, it just HAD to be the winner, hadn't it?

Also, it fired us right to the top of the league table, since Man Utd's game was postponed due to the fact the pitch in Blackpool is being temporarily used to host Hockey games. Ha-ha, get it?

What? Making fun of those who can't afford under-soil heating is a noble thing to do.


*gif of the goal is via

EBOUE IN TIGHTS AND LAME PITCH INVADERS.

I didn't get a chance to see our Carling Cup quarter final against Wigan yesterday, since it wasn't anywhere on TV and I would rather listen to a Ke$ha album than watch it on a stream that freezes every 10 seconds.

I do know that we won 2-0 with an own goal from Antolin Alcaraz and another from Nicklas Bendtner. I also know Eboue wore tights. They were white and ridiculous.

And while this about concludes my review of the actual match, there is something else I want to discuss. The issue which I've been meaning to bring up for awhile.

I am talking about, of course, THE PITCH INVADERS or to be precise, the complete and utter incompetence they've been displaying lately.

There were two of them last night and neither showed any commitment, whatsoever. There was no desire, no spark, no spirit. Not to mention the fact that they were FULLY CLOTHED. Disgraceful.

You wanna be pitch invadin', bro? Better do it right, yo:

You see this awesome, AWESOME pitch invader? That's fuckin' DED-I-CA-TION for you. From the love he's spreading to the timeless artwork. Flawless. FUCK JOSE? FUCK YEAH!

I pray to God this saint didn't get banned for life.