ARSENAL 2 - 0 WOLVES: ROBIN VAN PERSIE BREAKS RECORDS AND MICK MCCARTHY IS CLASSY.

Robin van Persie, Michael McCarthy. The former breaks records. The latter's just classy.

Last time we played Wolves (which was in November, by the way) we finished the match with the exact same scoreline as today - this would have to be the only similarity between the two games.

The former, was a rather nervy affair. Marouane Chamakh scored in the first and the last minutes of the match to secure the points. However, the hero of the day, turned out to be the one and only Lukas Fabianski - after making a string of crucial saves. I think, after that game, everyone became a bit more at ease with having him as our number one.

I have to say, before he got injured, I was secretly hoping he would emulate his performance in today's game as well. Just so I could use "BAMBI FENDS OFF WOLVES" as my main headline. Since I missed out on that opportunity the last time. Oh well...

Anyway, it was a completely different story this time around.

For one thing, it wasn't Chamakh who was leading our attack, it was Robin van Persie - top scorer in the Premier League in 2011.  He scored both of our goals and could have easily had another hat-trick. He now has ELEVEN Premier League goals and according to Infostrada - he's broken a record for most goals scored in first two months of a calendar year.

Had he been fit from August through November, one would assume we'd be a lot closer to the top of the table than we are at the moment. He's always been world-class but I guess we're finally starting to see and benefit from it. For how long? I don't know. Every time we're starting to believe his problems are behind him - the rug is pulled from under our feet by another injury.

Then there's Jack Wishere, who very obviously is high on confidence after his midweek England debut. Some of the passes, which he managed to pick out, were absolutely brilliant.

The kind of passes we are used to seeing from Cesc - who had a quiet game overall (by his standards) and was extremely wasteful in front of goal, it has to be mentioned.

Which segues nicely to my next point: HOW MANY FUCKING CHANCES DO WE NEED TO SCORE A GOAL? AARRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!11!!1

It is so unbelievably frustrating to watch, how we squander chance after chance. There were periods in that match, when I thought we'd never score another goal...ever again. When Van Persie was through on goal for his second, I honestly expected it to either go wide or hit the post.

Theo in particular, has been making some questionable decisions in front of goal, lately. His second half miss (of the match) was especially irritating. Is Thierry Henry still training with us? Maybe he needs to show Walcott some of his DVD's (with Henry on it I mean, not some random stuff like "Aladdin" - which i assume Theo would enjoy). I take nothing away from his assist, though.

In defence, I thought we looked comfortable and dealt with most of the set-pieces - which ironically account for 90% of the goals conceded for Arsenal and goals scored for Wolves (these stats are unconfirmed).

There wasn't a hint of any kind of hangover from last Saturday's nightmarish second half and I did not expect one, to be honest. We played that second half with ten men against Newcastle's TWELVE (get it? it's a Phil Dowd diss) and no Johan Djourou.

A couple of years ago no one would've predicted just how instrumental and important of a role Djourou would play for us. These statistics from OptaJean pretty much sum up that second half against Newcastle:

Djourou/Koscielny: 1 goal conceded every 295 mins (2 goals in 590 mins), 

Squillaci/Koscielny: 1 every 47 mins (20 in 949).

HOLY SHIT!

 Afterward Wolves' boss Mick McCarthy said this:

"There was a murder going on. They have murdered us today - all over the park, from 1 to 11, they were better than us, stronger than us and quicker than us. I have to admire their class and the way they play. We were spanked."

Oh, whatever you...wait, what? The manager of the losing team admits they were outplayed? WHY?

He could've complained about how our second goal should've been ruled out for offside or how they were denied a "stonewall" penalty. His team is rock bottom and he doesn't even try to divert attention and simply admits their shortcomings?

What is the world coming to?

*cough* David Moyes *cough*

NEWCASTLE 4 - 4 ARSENAL: PHIL DOWD AND LEE MASON ARE SITTING IN A TREE - F.U.C.K.I.N.G.

"Me and Lee Mason care very deeply about each other so beat it, Hobbit boy."

It seems like only a couple of days ago I was writing a post about the Everton game and the incompetence of Lee Mason and his minions. I had never written a post about an Arsenal match - so heavily focused on referees before and I genuinely thought I wouldn't be dragged into doing that again.

I've seen a lot of costly fuck ups made by the officials throughout the years and I would have thought I'm used to them by now. But every once in awhile, you see a refereeing performance so pathetic in its inadequacy, you're obliged to react - like yesterday, against Newcastle.

Idiotic, risky and dangerous challenges by Joey Barton and Co. went unpunished the entire match. Meanwhile, Newcastle were getting free-kicks left and right. It's nothing however, compared to the penalties awarded.

The first one was soft but you can understand why it was given - clumsy challenge by Koscielny + dramatic dive + pressure from the home fans = we've seen it all before. The second though, still boggles my mind. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR? Seriously, I don't think Dowd himself knows. The only explanation I can think of - it's his way of avenging his lover Lee Mason.

How nice of Philip Dowd to show solidarity with his colleague, eh? It's typical though, isn't it? Instead of admitting their mistakes and attempting to improve the game, they go all out, trying to show us who's the boss.

I said it in my previous post, the "governing bodies" can't keep preaching to us about how the officials should be respected. It's hard to argue with the abuse they're getting when they're put on a pedestal by the FA - you can never question their decisions, publicly criticize them or post mildly amusing photoshops on twitter (the number one source for reliable and official information). 

It makes them believe they're untouchable. They feel as if they're allowed to turn their job into a subjective matter. And if you intentionally make your officiating subjective, you're a pathetic excuse of a referee.

But I have to admit, as much of a cunt as Phil Dowd is, he's not the main reason we didn't win yesterday. The main reason is our team. Because it doesn't matter how much the ref tries to make it happen for the opposition, you still should have enough to win the game you're leading by FOUR clear goals with half an hour to go.

Abou Diaby's sending off was definitely the turning point. You can't really argue with the red card but you can argue with some of the fans' reactions and proposals to hang him from the tallest chapel.

Diaby almost had his career ended by a horrendous tackle during his first season with us. Since then he's been in and out of the treatment room, thanks to some really bad challenges and that Barton challenge was BAD. Anyone, who's not a robot unable to feel emotions, should understand his reaction, especially given the fact that Phil Dowd gave absolutely no protection to our players. Having said that, he's a professional and if he can't cope with the mental aspect of the game then both Arsenal and Diaby have a serious problem.

I also want to mention, watching the "pundits" on MOTD, say that the tackle on Diaby is "tough but nothing wrong with it", was rather cringe worthy.

You know what else was cringe worthy? Our defence! When Johan Djourou went off injured, I immediately knew we would concede (not 4, mind you). Sébastien Squillaci is just a terrible, terrible central defender. I try to be cautious but comparisons with Silvestre are inevitable. Although, Silvestre has been getting death threats from Werder fans this season, so I don't think Squillaci is at his level...yet.

I could talk about how the manager should have bought a new defender in January but I will not do that because I am not a masochist.

Then, there's Tomas Rosicky who was responsible for at least TWO of Newcastle goals. It really is sad watching his downfall but he's become a clear liability. He brings about as much to our game as a mutant crossbreed of Denilson and Eboue. I'm afraid he's got to go this summer.

And I should probably mention Cesc Fabregas - who's second half performance was way below par. He didn't try to make anything happen in that second half and just sort of rode the wave, along with most of the other players. There were periods in the last half an hour when it felt like no one was leading our team - we looked lost. No one, who could have dealt with the panic.

The only positive to come out of all this mess is Man Utd's defeat to Wolves, which not only means that we've closed the gap to four points but also that our 49 unbeaten record is safe for now. They can try again next season.

And those who say, they feel worse in light of Utd's defeat - need their heads examined. Think about it...the only reason they lost is because we failed to win. They went out there thinking they've won the league. Had we managed to hang on to our lead and take all the points, the Mancs would've spanked Wolves...SO hard.

Believe me.

To conclude:

Fuck you, Phil Dowd. 

Fuck you, Lee Mason.

Fuck you, Joey Barton - as a footballer and as a motherfuckin' human being.

And if you wanna be down with those cunts

Then fuck you too

"Match of the Day", fuck you too

All you motherfuckers, fuck you too

MY FO FO MAKE SURE ALL YO KIDS DONT GROW...

...or something less violent.

THE DAY DIDIER DROGBA COULDN'T SCORE AGAINST ARSENAL.

Johan Djourou had Drogba's balls firmly in his hand the entire match.

 Ahead of our match against Chelsea yesterday, every "pundit" and sports journalist was standing in line, ready to whip out the statistics and wave them in front of anyone who would dare to be optimistic about our prospects.

However, unlike some of our previous encounters, this one didn't have "the inevitable defeat" written all over it. Somehow, despite all the stats, predictions and analysis I had a good feeling about this one. I was hoping for a win but I thought a draw was the more likely outcome. Either way, there was one thing we all were convinced was going to happen for sure - Didier Drogba would score a goal.

13 GOALS IN 13 MATCHES - Drogba's record against us. I have to admit, at this point I can't stand the sight of the fucker but GODDAMN, that's impressive!

So imagine my complete and utter shock when after the final whistle I looked at the score sheet and his name wasn't on it. That was more surprising than the score itself. Some Chelsea fans say it's down to Malaria which Drogba still hasn't completely recovered from. I say it's down to a conversation, which must've recently taken place between Johan Djourou and a certain Philippe Sylvain Senderos.

I imagine it went something like this:

Johan: Show me, where did Didier touch you?

Big Phil: ......*starts crying uncontrollably*

Johan: I shall avenge your suffering, Philippe. Mark my words.

Anyway, I am not going to jump on the bandwagon, suggesting we've broken some kind of "HOODOO". It's not like Drogba will never score against us ever again, he will. For all we know yesterday's match could be just a one-off. But hey, it doesn't matter right now because we won. Not only that, we actually outplayed them.

Every single Arsenal player deserves the praise for that performance. Song had his best game of the season so far and I'm not even talking about his super-important opener. Fabregas played like...uh...Fabregas and hopefully his goal will make him forget about his hammy.

Then there's Walcott. I wasn't worried at all when I found out he was starting. I was just glad Wenger had the balls to drop Arshavin. I knew Theo would take his chance. Not only did he set up Fabregas for our second, making Ashley Cole look like the twat he really is in the process but he also scored our third, which was as Henry-esque as it gets. The exchange of passes with Cesc, the run, the finishing - everything about Walcott's goal was top-class.

We had a lap of concentration later in the game and conceded from a set-piece but fortunately it turned out to be nothing more than a consolation for Chelsea.

FULL-TIME: Arsenal 3 - 1 Chelsea.

Great game. Great win. Too bad we only have one day to enjoy it. *frowny face*

Also, Mark Clattenburg is a useless prick but the whole time I was watching the game I couldn't help thinking that for a Premier League referee he's actually pretty decent looking. But then again, I'm a disgusting pervert with an extensive collection of midget porn.

So...Uh...Hmm...

Hey, what's that?

*runs away in tears*