Showing posts with label Lazy Photoshops. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lazy Photoshops. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

NIKE HAS UNVEILED ARSENAL'S NEW AWAY KIT...FOR THE LAST TIME.


Aslan has given his approval to the new away kit.
So, our 2013/2014 away kit has been unveiled yesterday, accompanied by a not-at-all over the top "ceremony" at the Emirates. The latest and what will be the last Nike effort, as we move on to Puma.

I have to admit, when I'd first found out we'd be parting ways with Nike, I was a lot more upset than I would ever care to admit, and just to rub it in, after years and years of torturing us with monstrosities, they come out with the perfect yellow and blue away kit.

Nike is definitely trendier and all the cool kids wear it ...but hey, the cool kids hate me anyway and at the end of the day, the brand of your team's football kit has got to be the most insignificant issue in the whole fucking world, so let's just focus on what's important i.e what's happening on the pitch (although, considering our form over the last few seasons, I understand it's not always easy to do).

Sunday, October 28, 2012

QUEENS PARK GERBILS DIG DEEP BUT ARSENAL SMOKE THEM OUT.

Gerbil Cisse believes Mikel Arteta was offside for the winning goal...

Well, well, well, what have we here? Err, not an awful lot actually.

Arsenal played QPR yesterday at the Emirates but it was so uneventful, if you will, that I spent half the time thinking how uninspired and low on confidence must our squad be, if we can't even beat the worst team in the league at our place anymore?

And half the time, I was just wondering how come there's not a single photoshop circulating the internet, with Djibril Cisse's face on a gerbil's body because holy shit, "Djibril" sounds like "gerbil". Am I the only one aware of that? By the time I'd realized that Cisse wasn't even playing, it was too late.

For all its shortcomings, yesterday's match had one big positive, one huge positive, one Michael Fassbender's dong sized positive about it and that of course, was the long awaited return of Jack Wilshere. After 17 month out of the top flight football, he's finally back. I thought he was great in the first half, pulling all the strings and if we had a decent striker out there yesterday, I believe he could've racked up some assists to his name as well. According to OptaJoe, he completed all 33 passes that he attempted in the first half. That's some comeback.

The second half saw Mbia - a man with an equal amount of consonants and vowels in his name, sent off. And if there was ever a red card you would never hear anyone argue about, it was yesterday's Mbia's needless and unprovoked kicking of Vermaelen. 

Had an Arsenal player done something similar, I would've been very upset and probably, even made a lazy photoshop, portraying him in an unflattering light. I don't mess around.

Anyway, with QPR down to ten men, it's only a matter of time until we finally score, right? WRONG! Ok, not exactly wrong but Julio Cesar sure made it difficult. I can't even remember the number of saves he had to make, some of which were quite outstanding, if you ask me (no one ever asks). Why on earth is he playing for QPR anyway? He sure ain't happy about it

It wasn't until the 85' minute, when Arsenal finally  made the breakthrough. Andrei Arshavin's excellent pass (what?) found Giroud, who's header was saved, once again, by Julio the Emperor, Aaron Ramsey tried, unsuccessfully, to poke home the rebound. (ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR YOUR HOME?! ANSWER ME!!!!) Arteta's header hit the bar but thankfully the ball was kind enough to come back straight to Mikel, who eventually smacked it into the back of the net.

Up the other end Vito Mannone made a wonderful save in the injury time, when Jamie Mackie cut open our defense, only to be denied by the Italian. 

FULL TME: Arsenal 1 - 0 QPR                                                                                                             

Afterwards Mark Hughes claimed that Mikel Arteta was offside for the winner, he said:
"The referee has really killed us because Arteta was clearly offside on two occasions,"
"He has conjured up some cock-and-bull story about Ryan Nelsen being off the pitch. It has cost us the point."
Was our goal offside? It might have been but here's another piece of information I got from OptaJoe:  
"Since their return to the top flight QPR have earned more red cards than any other Premier League team." 
Yesterday's red card was Mark Hughes' team's ninth in 2012, so you know what? Mark Hughes and his army of gerbils can fuck right off.

P.S. I have no hard feeling towards QPR, just Mark Hughes.

P.P.S. the picture is via.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

TOTTENHAM 3 - 3 ARSENAL: REMEMBER, THINGS CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE...


Not only did we concede the title to Man Utd but we're also now in third place behind Chelsea on goal difference.

Oh well, at least we keep finding new and creative ways to throw away points, so there's that.